


Too Cool For This Theme Park

by eirana



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-14
Updated: 2011-07-14
Packaged: 2017-10-21 10:00:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eirana/pseuds/eirana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam hates Disneyland.  Fill for an aianonlovefest prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Cool For This Theme Park

Adam hates Disneyland.

It’s a long standing hatred, one that’s been with him since childhood.

It had started with the first time his parents had taken him there at the age of three, and placed him in Mickey Mouse’s arms for a picture. He’d taken a look into its mouth and seen a pair of eyes staring back at him through the dark material. He’d wailed loudly, screaming that the evil mouse was going to eat him.

His parents had been asked to “please calm your son down, or leave the park. Your child is scaring all the other visitors.”

He spent years after that incident convinced that all the costumed characters couldn’t move on their own until they ate a person, and every few months, they needed to eat someone new, or they’d be powerless to move again.

Adam had had a rampant imagination even then.

The problem was, his parents had loved the place. They said it was pretty much mandatory for families within driving distance of Disneyland to journey to its bright, colorful gates at least once a year, and no matter how much Adam had begged, they never let that unwritten rule slide.

It’s good for you to go there, Adam. It’s the happiest place on Earth, Adam. You may not enjoy it, but this family is going to Disneyland, and whether you like it or not, you’re part of this family, Adam.

Man, his mom had used his name a lot when she was lecturing him about their annual trips to Hell on Earth.

After Neil hit thirteen, his parents had asked the two of them if they wanted to stop the annual trips. His mom had looked a little disappointed when both of her sons let out an instant, unified “yes” in reply. Adam got down on his knees and started thanking every deity he could think of.

Ever since they stopped the forced family fun time trips to Hell on Earth, Adam has stayed far, far away from its gates.

He’d even skipped out on the senior trip there, much to Danielle’s displeasure. Without him there, she was stuck with a bunch of girls who she didn’t necessarily hate, but their topics of conversation weren’t exactly scintillating. After an entire day with them, she felt like her brain was going to explode. It’d taken weeks and lots of groveling - lots of groveling - to get her to forgive him for “leaving her to the mercy of those chattering magpies.”

And years later, when Brad expressed an interest in going, just for the hell of it, (and, okay, maybe to frighten the poor parents with their innocent children with two fierce bitches like us, Brad had said with a sunny smile,) Adam had leapt out of their bed so fast, he tripped and almost crashed headfirst into the platform boots he’d left on the floor in their haste to get to bed.

Brad never brought up Disneyland ever again.

(But not before he got the story out of him using unfair, devious methods that may or may not have involved feathers. Even after they broke up, Brad continued to tease Adam mercilessly about it, the little bitch.)

The point is, there is definitely no love lost between Adam and Disneyland.

He wouldn’t go for his best friend in the whole world, he wouldn’t go for his first love.

Which is why Adam would like to know why the hell he’s here now.

“Adam, do you have our passes?”

He glances at the man besides him, and, yeah, he remembers why.

Kris motherfucking Allen.

If anyone had told Adam that he’d be with Kris, the way he’d always told himself he couldn’t and wouldn’t, he would’ve told them to fuck off and stop messing with his head.

But here he is. And here they are.

He smiles at Kris, knowing full well how ridiculously sappy he looks, but not caring, and reaches into his pocket.

“Right here, babe. Ready for your first visit to the happiest place on Earth?”

“You know it,” Kris replies, beaming brightly at him before brushing a kiss against his lips, and, god, it’s so obvious how much he loves this man.

He’s fucking braving Disneyland for him.

~*~

Adam loves Kris.

He knows that, Kris knows that. Hell, the whole world knows that, and a few of those people had seen it before he and Kris had finally wised up.

But Adam doesn’t know if he loves Kris more than he hates the “It’s a Small World” ride.

That sounds really bad, and more than a little stupid, but anyone else who’s been on that ride that isn’t an eight-year-old (or has the mind of one) will admit that it’s the most painful form of torture ever invented. How many times could one person take hearing the same annoyingly cheerful song being sung over and over again?

He loses count after the eleventh time.

(What Adam won’t admit out loud is that he lost track of how many times they played that insipid song because he made the mistake of looking over at Kris, and the way his eyes glimmered as he took in all the displays made something in Adam’s heart twist.)

Kris pouts after they exit the ride, a little disheartened that Adam doesn’t appear as enthused as he is. He continues to pout while they work their way through all the rides in Fantasyland.

Adam can only take the sight of Kris despondent for so long, and tries to coax a smile out of him while they wait in line for Peter Pan. He grabs his hand and pulls him close, humming The Second Star to the Right in his ear, eyes lighting up when Kris finally cracks a smile. He takes a quick look around, and no one seems to be paying attention to them, so he presses a kiss to Kris’ temple, and the way he closes his eyes and leans into him warms him more than the sun that’s been shining down on them all morning.

“You know this isn’t my thing, but that doesn’t mean I want you to enjoy it any less. This is your day, and I want you to remember it fondly, okay? I may not be in love with this place, but if it makes you happy, I’ll attempt to give it a chance. Just please stop looking so damn sad! I hate when you don’t smile,” he whispers, rubbing his thumb against Kris’ full lower lip.

He feels heat rush through him when Kris opens his mouth a tiny bit, enough to suck in the tip of Adam’s thumb.

Fuck the ride.

Adam drags him to the nearest bathroom, (the one labeled “Pirates”,) and pushes him into a stall, trying to block out the voice of a little boy asking his dad why those two men are fighting in a bathroom stall, because there isn’t a lot of room in there. He hears the dad stutter a nonsensical answer in reply before quick footsteps move in the direction of the door, and then he hears it slams shut.

The loud bang of the door reverberates in his ears for a moment, but then the room is filled with the sound of Kris’ pants and whimpers.

Kris is squirming against him, face flushing this pretty shade of pink, and whispering harsh protests. He bites down on his lower lip hard to keep in a groan because Adam’s hands have undone the button of his jeans and slid down the zipper, and he’s cupping him through his briefs, rubbing against his aching flesh teasingly.

“Adam-”

It’s a token protest, nothing more. Adam knows Kris, and he knows when he wants something and when he doesn’t, and right now, he wants.

He pulls down Kris’ briefs and wraps his hand around his cock firmly, pulling him into a rough kiss to keep him quiet. Kris isn’t afraid to make noise, and Adam loves it, but in this case, quiet is good.

He tightens his grip a little bit and smiles wickedly at the strangled moan Kris lets out, head banging against the stall wall and arching into Adam’s hand.

Well, maybe he can let him make some noise.

But Adam knows that he doesn’t have the time to tease, and any second now, someone could walk in.

He speeds up his strokes, sucking at Kris’ sensitive neck and using his other hand to cover Kris’ mouth in an attempt to muffle his cries. Kris shudders underneath him, spilling over his hand, and then slumps against the wall, breathing heavily.

“God. You just jerked me off in a themed bathroom at Disneyland. There is something seriously wrong with this scenario.”

Adam laughs and starts licking his hand clean, shivering when Kris takes his hand and starts lapping at his fingers before sucking them into his mouth.

“Judging by the result,” he pauses at the heated look in Kris’ eyes. “I’d say you didn’t exactly mind.”

Kris pulls away from his fingers with a loud pop. “You want me to take care of you?”

He eyes Kris’ red, swollen lips and he almost says yes, but reconsiders it. They didn’t come to Disneyland so they could commandeer the bathrooms and have sex in them.

“No, it’s fine. We still have the rest of the park to see. You can pay me back later.”

He kisses Kris tenderly, and tucks him back into his pants, making sure they both look presentable before they venture out of the stall.

Adam prays that no one’s out there, but nope, there’s a blond teen washing his hands, smirking at him like he’s hot shit.

“Way to go.”

He flips the kid off and starts walking towards the door. He pauses when he hears a loud gasp, and when he turns back around, the kid’s staring at Kris like he fucking ascended from Heaven or something.

“You’re Kris Allen!”

Kris blushes bright red, putting a hand behind his head nervously. “Yeah, that’s my name.”

“And he’s Adam Lambert. And you were in the same stall and-”

Adam’s eyes widen, because, holy shit, why did they always manage to find a crazy fan wherever they went?

“Please don’t tell?” Kris asks, smiling crookedly.

And just like that, the kid’s all smiles and warmth and gentleness. Kris has that effect on people.

“Anything for you, Kris.”

The kid shyly asks for an autograph, pulling a notepad out of his back pocket, and then offers it to Adam, mumbling something about how his sister’s a big fan without meeting his eyes.

They both sign it without fuss and the kid almost faints on the spot when Kris gives him a quick hug. It’d be adorable if people fawning over his boyfriend right in front of him didn’t make his possessive streak act up.

He winds an arm around Kris’ shoulders, smiling at the way he instantly leans into his touch, and feels a bit bad at the disappointed slant to the kid’s smile when they finally leave the bathroom.

“Well, that was interesting.”

Kris nods in agreement before letting go of his hand and starting to walk away.

“Where are you going?”

He turns around, a broad grin stretching his face. “We still have the rest of the park to see!” Then he keeps walking, leaving Adam standing there staring after him.

He thinks Disneyland might be starting to grow on him.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies to anyone whose precious childhood memories I defiled.
> 
> Originally posted 12/2/09.


End file.
